Twisted Road
by alwaysconfuzzled
Summary: "James' hands had left the steering wheel, flying to valiantly defend his perfect locks" Vanity cost him his friends. Angst, Whump, Tragedy.


**After a really long time of me being an idiot who couldn't write anything in chronological order, I've finally managed to scrape out this oneshot. This is dedicated to my lovely munchkin happyhappyjoyjoy4, as this fic is her birthday fic. Her birthday was in August. I fail so hard. This is also for the precious valentine142, who beta-ed this fic for me and I may have killed her little with the angst. Whoops.**

**Enjoy - this oneshot took me two months, 14 cups of tea, endless pots of pasta, a chocolate cat and valentine142 guilt-tripping me to finish and is 3,864 words long.**

**Warnings: Serious injury, angst, tragedy**

**Please review.**

**Twisted Road**

"WOOOOO-"

"Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate!" James' oh so slightly effeminate shriek cut off Carlos' exuberant yell, as the BTR Mobile swerved round yet another hairpin corner.

"That's it James, you're doing a great job!" Logan crowed, keeping a watchful eye on the speedometer, careful to make sure the vehicle did not stray over 25 mph.

"So remind me – How did he pass his test?" James heard Kendall snicker from the back seat.

"It's not like you passed your test, _Eyebrows_,"

"Hey! Leave my eyebrows outta this – they can't drive!"

"Yeah? Then maybe you should shut up so –"

"JAMES! EYES ON THE ROAD!" Logan yelled, as they almost drove straight into a deer that was taking a casual stroll across the road.

Carlos wrinkled up his nose when he felt a raindrop plop onto it, going cross-eyed in childish wonderment as he watched it drip off his nose and onto his pale blue t-shirt. "Hey! It's raining!"

James gasped," But this is an open top car-"

"J_ames_,"

"But my hair's gonna get soaked,"

"James-"

"BUT MY HAIR!"

"JAMES!"

The warning came too late. James' hands had left the steering wheel, flying to valiantly defend his perfect locks.

The car swerved, smashing through the protective barriers on the edge of the hill road, flinging the car down the steep bank into the dense woodland below.

-BTR-

James pried his head off the airbag, blinking a few times to gain his bearings; work out why on Earth he was wet, cold and deeply uncomfortable. A trickle of blood running down the airbag told him that his nose was bleeding, but despite the dull ache at the front of his head, he wasn't hurt.

He looked round, to his right, wanting to see his friends laughing at him, telling him he crashed into some person's garden fence and 10 mph and got knocked out.

His hopeful imagination was crushed instantly by reality, the reality that the passenger seat, where Logan had been sitting was completely crushed into a tree, the car partially wrapped around it – and that Logan was nowhere to be seen.

Momentarily thankful that Logan's body was not lying crushed beside him, he breathed a sigh of relief, before his brain instantly went into paranoid overdrive, inventing the worst scenarios he could find his friend in.

"LOGAN!" James hollered, sending a dozen birds fleeing into the dying sunlight, squawking their indignation.

"James?" It was Logan's voice, weak and quiet, but Logan's voice nonetheless.

"Logan!" James clambered out of the car, after finding his door was crumpled shut, in a curl of twisted metal. On his feet, she scrambled over to where he could see Logan's crumpled form slumped on the rocky ground, ignoring the odd burning smell creeping up his nostrils. He slumped to his knees, looking panicked over his friend's body, gasping when he saw the mangled flesh of his legs peeking through bloody jeans.

"Oh god," he whispered, nausea heaving his stomach.

"It's okay James," Logan whispered, eyes too wide in a pale face, "It doesn't hurt. I can't feel them."

"Wh-what?" James breathed.

"I can't feel my legs, buddy," Logan looked at him with sad resignation, a tear slipping out the corner of his eye and tracking a path down his muddied cheek.

James gulped, "No... Logan, no..."

"James, I don't matter-"

James gasped in offence at Logan's words," How can you say that, you're – "

"James, the car's burning...you have to get them out," The burning smell finally registered, and James whipped round, seeing the spitting flames as they caressed the curling metal of the bonnet.

"Oh god," he moaned, turning and fleeing toward the wrecked car, running to Carlos' side. "Carlos, wake up, the cars burning, we gotta go..." His own words were cut off when he looked into Carlos' blank eyes, staring wanly out of the car. James' eyes flittered over his friend, following the steady trickle of blood from the side of head - _Where was his helmet? Why wasn't he wearing his helmet? _James looked round desperately until he saw he best friend's helmet, unmarked, lying on the forest floor. He bent slowly and picked it up, dusting off the dry leaves. He turned back to Carlos, and cold dread slipped down his throat when he realised Carlos' neck was broken, twisted unnaturally. He pressed a shaking hand to his friend's cheek; it was cold, tan skin already turning gray. Tears slipped unstopped down James' cheeks, drying instantly from the heat of the fire..._the fire – Oh god the fire! _The flames had crawled up the bonnet, making the shattered glass from the cracked windscreen glisten orange in the flickering light.

It didn't take a genius to know that when the fire caught light to the gas tank, the car would blow up.

A strange calmness set over James as the gravity of the situation hit him with the simple fact Carlos was beyond help, and he had to get Kendall, and get away from that car before anyone else died.

He marched straight to the other side of the car, Carlos' helmet clutched tightly in his hands. Kendall was slumped over the side of the car, seatbelt ripped straight from its socket. James was instantly aware of the sheer amount of blood running in rivulets down the side of the car.

Too much blood.

He put a shaking hand on his friends shoulder, nudging him gently, "Kendall, wake up, c'mon buddy, you gotta wake-up," Kendall managed a whimper in reply, head slipping to the side slightly.

James quickly worked out the door, like his had been, was warped shut, and gripped Kendall's arms, trying to pull him over the door. He was only too aware of the ever growing blaze, the hot sweat pouring down his face.

He frowned at how difficult it was to pull Kendall over the door, until he realised his friend was essentially impaled on the side of the car door, metal curling into his stomach. Panicking, he dragged his friend over the door with as much force as he could, wincing when he heard the squelch of torn flesh and felt warm blood splatter across his shirt.

James backed up awkwardly; Kendall's limp body slumped in his arms, feet trailing across the dead leaves. He had to get away from the car; he knew that, a voice of reason – or maybe common sense – telling him to get away from the car, before it –

_BOOM_ - the car burst into flames as the gas tank ignited, a plume of fire filling the clearing, coming so near, James felt the hair on the back of his neck singe, with the rank smell of burning hair, mingling with the stench of burning flesh –

"CARLOS!" Logan's anguished scream finished James' thoughts. "NO, WHY DIDN'T YOU GET HIM ... no, n-no..."

James collapsed to his knees next to Logan, still holding Kendall awkwardly across his lap, "He was already gone, Logan ... h-he was already ... nothing I could do... really, I..."

"I know," Logan whispered, "I know," He turned his head away from his remaining friends, choking down sobs, unable to stop the shaking in his shoulders. He lay like this for several minutes before, abruptly, he took a harsh intake of breath, before whipping round again, "Is Kendall okay? Why is he unconscious – there's blood, I..."

"He's hurt," James said it with the vulnerable innocence Logan hadn't heard since they were five years old, lost in the snow in Minnesota.

Logan pulled himself onto his elbows, rolling to face Kendall with a grunt, squinting in the firelight, "Where's he hurt?"

"His stomach, I think ... the car, I..." James' shaking hands peeled away Kendall's green hoodie, his hands squelching with his best friend's blood, gasping as he saw the gash across Kendall's abdomen, glistening wetly. "Oh god," he mumbled softly, pushing back the blonde's torn grey t-shirt.

"James, take off his hoodie and use it to stop the bleeding," Logan's voice was firm, authorative, but the unmistakeable crack at the end belied his true thoughts.

James struggled with the hoodie, not wanting to hurt Kendall; not knowing what other injuries he may have, but eventually managed to ease it off and balled it up, pressing it hard to Kendall's abdomen.

Instantly the blonde jerked and tensed up, uneven whimpers escaping his parted lips, "Shh, Kenny, shh," James soothed, "Can you wake up for us buddy? Can you do that?" Kendall's eyes scrunched up, face twisting, clenching his fists. "Kendall?"

Kendall's eyes flickered partially open, slivers of green in his pale face. "James? Jamie ... wha' 'appened?" He whispered, his eyes lazily focusing on James' face. He grimaced, a tear slipping down his cheek. "Jamie... I hurt...w-why?" His voice was shaking and cracking.

"There was a car accident, buddy," James whispered, "You're gonna be okay, I promise, you're gonna be okay,"

"Where's Logan? A-and Carlos? W-where are they?" Logan's hand wrapped around Kendall's, "I'm right here Kenny,"

"But what about Carlos?" Kendall whined, "Where's he?" His question was met only by the malicious crackling from the burning car, and James avoiding his gaze.

"Carlos?" Kendall whimpered, lifting his head to look for his friend, only for James to push him back down again.

"Try not to move buddy, you'll make it worse,"

"B-b-but ... Carlos?" Where is he? I'm supposed to look after him! I'm supposed to keep you safe... are you hurt? What about Logan? I can't..."

"Kenny," James whispered, "Carlos isn't here anymore, I'm really sorry, buddy."

Kendall's eyes flew wide and bright. "Why? Where's he gone?"

"Kendall," Logan murmured, "Carlos...he...uh...," Logan stopped to take a deep breath, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve, "He didn't make it buddy,"

"Carlos?" Kendall let out a choked sob, voice raising in pitch. "He has to...Carlos?"

"Kenny, you've got to calm down, please, you're gonna hurt yourself," He has drowned out by Kendall's sobs, his slurred words catching in the back of his throat.

James wrapped his strong arms round his friend, feeling Logan's arms join a second later.

He could hear Logan's soft whimpers ,Kendall's stuttering wails, and soft quiet sobs. He wondered vaguely whose they were until he worked out he was crying too, shaking and trembling.

He tucked his head numbly on top of Kendall's, looking at the burnt out wreckage of the car, blackened smoke a plume stretching into the sky, umber flames dancing.

So beautiful.

So terrifying.

He had no idea how long he lay there, watching the flames waver, losing their ferocity as night closed in on them, fighting against the consuming darkness.

He was jerked in a semblance of awareness when he felt a raindrop spatter on his nose, bitterness settling in his stomach.

He no longer cared about his hair getting wet.

He could feel Kendall shivering with cold, or blood loss; neither bade well for the prone blonde curled in James' arms.

"Ken? You awake?" He stroked his hand over the side of his friend's face.

"Mhhmmmmnghhh," Kendall's slurred reply, burying his head into James' chest. "I'm s-s-soo cold-d..." he stammered, teeth chattering as the freezing rain beat down on his body.

"Okay, buddy, you can have my jacket, okay? That'll keep you warm, yeah?" It felt wrong to talk to Kendall in such a childish way, but then, everything was wrong. And James was pretty sure it was never going to be right again.

"It's raining," coughed Logan from next to Kendall, "This is like – like a movie... really dumb and clichéd," They giggled, too nervous, too high-pitched, becoming steadily hysterical, as James removed his jacket, placing it on Kendall like a blanket, tucking it gently around his friend's thin shoulders.

"Th-thank you," Kendall breathes, voice cracked and hoarse. Logan's hand creeps across the wet soil, joining tightly with Kendall's, gripping it close enough to break. Kendall doesn't flinch – concentrating too hard on focusing on James' blurring face.

Suddenly, the blondes eye's blow wide, breath stopping in his throat with a strangled gurgle.

"Kendall? Kenny, what's wrong?" James is panicking, and Logan's trying to lift his head to see what was going on, but he can't and Kendall is twitching; breath turning into choked splutters.

James tries to tug Kendall into a sitting position, but fails, managing only to turn Kendall onto his side, who flopped forward, choking and coughing viciously. Eventually, his breathing eased out, and he slumped onto James, lifting his head slowly.

James saw the blood splattered across Kendall's strong chin and dribbling from one corner of his mouth. Kendall's green eyes were openly and closing like they're stuck between wake and sleep, unfocused; the usual look seen on a Saturday morning – or most mornings for that matter, it taking strong black coffee to snap Kendall into any coherence.

James had the nagging feeling coffee would not do Kendall any good now.

"James?" Kendall's voice was wavering, "James – where are you?"

"I'm right here," James didn't get it. Couldn't Kendall see him?"

"Where is he? I need him!" Kendall's eyes were darting back and forth, but James wasn't entirely sure he could see where he was. He put his hand gently on the side of Kendall's face, and despite the freezing cold, Kendall's face was hot and flushed, sweat beading on his forehead and mixing with the rainwater already beating down on his face.

"James?" Kendall's voice was childlike and soft, "I want Logan... and Carlos... I-I need them Jamie,"

"I know, buddy, I know, Logan's right here – we're gonna look after you-"

"Where are we?"

"We-"

"Mommy?" Kendall started sobbing, "Wh-where's Mom? I'm scared, I want my Mom,"

James could barely answer him. "She's not here...Kendall..."

Kendall turned scared green eyes on his friend, "Can you call her please?" He begged, voice cracking all over the place.

James whipped out his cell phone within seconds, furiously dialling 911 with shaking fingers, barely able to press the screen on his iPhone.

"You haven't called for help yet?" Cried Logan from where he lying next to Kendall, squeaky with disbelieving panic.

"It didn't occur to me!" There was a click as the phone on the end of the line was picked up.

"Hello, could you please state your emergency?" A woman's cool voice crackled through the receiver.

"There's been a car crash, my friends are really hurt, you need to get here really quickly," He manages to tell the lady were they are, and she calmly tells him that they have to stay where they are and an ambulance will be there as soon as possible.

"Is she coming now?" Kendall whimpers, "Is Mommy coming?"

"Yeah, she'll be here real soon," The lie felt thick and wrong in James' mouth.

-BTR-

It was dark now. The rain refused to ease up, the temperature dropping with every vicious gust of wind. The car was burning lower, blacked metal twisting to its grave.

James looked over at his friends. Logan had been sleeping for awhile now. He'd grown steadily more listless until dropping off, snoring and snuffling. Kendall was cuddled close to James, drenched and cold, eyes blown wide and unseeing, whimpering and crying occasionally.

"I-I don't wanna die, y'know," He blurted out suddenly, making James jump. "I-I r-really d-don't."

"No-one wants to die, Kenny,"

"I want my friends here," he rasped , bloody saliva coating his lips. "I have the greatest friends y'know,"

"Really?" James smiled to himself, despite of everything. "Tell me about them,"

"W-well, there's Carlos, and he's really awesome, and he's kinda crazy but we don't care, and he wears a helmet..." A tear rolled down James' cheek. He wasn't going to see Carlos again; no more crazy stunts, no more happy thoughts about kittens; no more wild corndog competitions. No more ridiculous attempts of Carlos trying to make James smile after a bad day.

"Logan's brilliant. He's r-really smart and stuff... he knows lots of stuff. You know, when I was five, I hit my head on the ice a-and Logan knew all the stuff to do, even though he was only like six..." James remembered that day too clearly; aged six playing in the Minnesota snow, wrapped up warm in scarves and mittens. He remembered a tiny Kendall slipping and hitting his head on the ice; he remembered the blood staining the snow vivid red; he remembered Logan telling Kendall to stay awake, wrapping a scarf round Kendall's bleeding head, sending James to get help. He remembered the doctor at the hospital telling Kendall's parents that Logan's actions most likely saved his life.

"James is my best friend I think. Like, my very best friend. He stuck up for me in kindergarten, 'cos, I w-was st-still really little then, and the other kids made fun of me, but he was still my friend. A-And then, when we were older, there were kids making fun of him 'c-cos he was girly, s-so I stood up for him that time. H-he's always been there for me. L-like...l-l-like...I c-can't..." Kendall's eyebrows furrowed. "I-I c-can't remember..." He shook his head a little, before turning his gaze on James. "James?" He whispered. "I'm ... so happy... that you're here..."

James could only snuffle around a strangled sob.

"Could you tell Katie that I love her? A-a-and that she's the best baby sister ever, please? A-and look after her, and Mama. Please make sure she's not sad,"

"I promise, buddy. I'll take good care of them,"

"Gustavo's gonna be so mad... d-don't l-let-t h-him kick you out J-James, you...you can keep your dream..." Kendall's mind started to drift, only really knowing that he was safe, there in James' arms.

"I really, really love you g-guys you know," Kendall stuttered out, blood dribbling further down his chin, eyes glazed and half-shut.

"We know buddy," James whispered, stroking his friend's wet hair, trying to ignore the violent shivers that wracked both their bodies. "We love you too,"

Kendall convulsed, a dry sob forcing through his throat, "I'm scared, Jamie ... I'm r-really scared..."

"Shh, go to sleep, Kenny, go to sleep," James soothed, wiping away Kendall's tears as he ignored his own.

"Do .. y-you promise...you'll be there... when I wake up?" Kendall breathed, head lolling on James' chest.

"Yeah, buddy, I promise. Just go to sleep, and when you wake up, I'll be right here, okay?" James tucked his head on top of Kendall's, snivelling violently. He felt the exhaustion settling in, eyes becoming heavy and sore. He felt his mind drifting off to sleep.

He felt Kendall's breathing slow.

-BTR-

"Hello, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes? Sweetheart, if you can hear me, open your eyes..." James' sleep was rudely interrupted by loud voices, engines and harsh daylight, and his brain struggled to get round it as he slowly came closer to consciousness.

He managed to crack an eye open, but winced as bright sunlight blinded him. He tried again, successful as the face of a dark-haired middle aged woman came into focus, leaning over him.

"Can you hear me? Can you tell me your name, darlin'?" Her voice was too loud, and he just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but she was irritatingly persistent.

"James ... Diamond,"

"Okay, James, my names Joyce, you've been in an accident, but you're going to be just fine, okay? We're going to take you in the ambulance to hospital, but we need to check how bad you're hurt first, okay hun?"

James scrunched up his face, "Where's Kendall? And Logan?" He turned his head trying to see his friends, desperately searching. He could see a swarm of paramedics round Logan, hearing their hushed whispers. "Try not to move him – damage to the spinal cord... probably paralyzed ... unconscious, unresponsive..."

"What's wrong with him?" James whimpered, looking to Joyce desperately for help.

"It doesn't matter, sweetie, we've gotta take care of you now, then you can help your friend..."

"Logan? Kendall? Kendall!" James was hysterically yelling, wanting his friends to call out, say that they were okay. James wrenched his head to the side, to see a EMT knelt next to Kendall's prone body, feeling for a pulse at his pale neck. He glanced up to Joyce, and shook his head, moving away.

James roared, the noise he made inhuman, as he scrambled across the muddy ground to Kendall, "Don't touch him!" he spat at the EMT, flinging his arms round his friend. "Kendall, buddy, wake up now, I'm here, you can wake up..." Foreign hands placed themselves on James' shoulders, trying to lead him away, gentle soothing voices in his ear, but to no avail as James clung wailing to Kendall's cold body.

"There's nothing you can do for him, you've got to come with us..."

"NO! I've got to be here when he wakes up... please don't make me leave him... I promised him, I promised him..." More paramedics joined to hold James, who flailed wildly, feral, screaming Kendall's name.

So desperate for him to wake up, open his eyes. James could not let him down like this.

But he had.

He had let all his very best friends down.

Carlos burned in the broken car.

Kendall bled to death on the cold ground.

Logan never to walk again, unable to live the life he dreamed of.

For no reason other than James.

For Vanity.


End file.
